Originally Posted on Writer’s Digest
Ugh, what did I do last night? My head was pounding and my mouth was so dry. It must have been a crazy night if I can’t remember it. I looked over at the calendar and it said January 1 so I gathered that last night was New Year’s Eve.
Just then, my phone started buzzing. My only thought was to end that agonizing sound of a vibrating phone against a hardwood floor. “Whoever this is, you better say this fast and quiet.”
“James! I figured you’d have a little bit of a hangover, you were definitely slurring your speech on the phone last night.”
It was Mike Blugass! I haven’t talked to him since college. He got arrested for assaulting an officer his senior year and we lost tough when he left school. Why is he calling me? More importantly, why did I call him? “Mike! What’s up dude?”
“Dude, you know what’s up. Legit, I can’t believe we’re actually doing this. It’s a little strange I know, but I do this all time and it gets easy after the first time, it’ll actually seem a little funny.”
Uh oh, what did I agree to last night. I would ask but I don’t want to insult him and say that the only reason I called him was because I was drunk. I think I can probably figure it out though, I just need to keep him talking. “Yeah, I know, well I figured there’s a first time for everything.”
“Well, yeah, but I’m surprised ol’ goodie two shoes James Hawthorne would ever want to do something like this.”
It was true that I was always a good egg in college but I had changed a lot since then. Still, whatever I agreed to contradicts that well-behaved version of me. Oh gosh, is it illegal!? “Well, times change. Just to make sure, this is legal right?”
All I heard was laughter. “Did you really this kind of thing would be legal when you suggested this? Geez, how much booze did you have?”
I take it that it’s not legal. I better try to laugh this off. “Yeah, I was just messing with you. I meant what are the odds of us getting caught?”
“Well, in my experience, it depends on how well connected this guy is. From what you told me, it sounds like we should be out of there without any witnesses.”
Oh crap! We’re gonna murder someone. Okay, let me think, it’s gotta be someone I know who lives alone. Damn! I’ve gotta go out to pay the landlord too. What a heartless jerk! It’s the first of the month but it’s New Year’s… That’s it! My landlord lives alone! “Mike, I know we talked about killing my landlord, but I’ve been thinking lately and really think that’s a bad idea.”
“Kill your landlord?” I hear him laughing again, almost insultingly. “You’ve got it all wrong”
Phew, that was close!
“We’re only going to kidnap him.”